The clowns that bring all this nonsense together.

In 1998, former women’s Olympic swimmer Duke Dundreary decided radio was not his passion and went into carrot farming, which we all know is not lucrative. Bankrupt by 2001, he reckoned internet radio could be his passion but was not, so instead decided to travel the world. After meeting various bizarre characters on his dirt bike he figured the world needed a place to hear their stories and devised Realive Radio. Now, he hosts the show for this menagerie of oddballs.

Famed radio announcer Gerard Spothenberg originally joined Team Real to complete the community service requirement from a 2003 sexual assault charge of which he still maintains his innocence. G-Spot brings 26 years of radio and voice-over work to his post and provides Realive with a much needed sense of gravitas. Since his freakish experiment though, he no longer holds a corporeal form and exists solely as a disembodied voice. A generic picture is provided for your own sanity.

Lord “LD” Dundreary is some jackassy fop who called into the show an challenged Duke to a dual. He lost so now he just has to hang around and do whatever the guys say. He may in fact be a time traveler but this is as yet unconfirmed. What is confirmed however is that he talks like a fag and is generally obnoxious to listen to, long-winded and uninteresting as he is.

Wolfie is the werewolf that works the equipment at Realive studio. He speaks only in sample and is apparently Chinese. He makes the coffee, fucks up the office with his hair and metamorphic outbursts and generally just pisses off G-Spot. He makes an ungodly amount of money and has some bulletproof contract from the show’s production company. He sort of just came with the studio, so there’s not much anyone can do about him it seems. He does his job though and is mostly pleasant.

Gung-Do Taikwankido Grand Fire Monkey and 1985 Jubojitsu Slap Champ Joseph “Donny Dojo” Sheroeda is one of Realive Radio’s premiere sponsors. Donny has his own self defense segment to help all the pussy’s that listen to the show. In addition to his several Olympic medals, Donny is a NY Times Bestselling author and convicted felon. He currently owns an operates over 100 local area Taikwankido World Wide Death Dojos. Punch yeah.

World renown sports analyst Tug Benson is mostly drunk. During his news segment “The Sports Bar” Tug recounts, with minimal efficiently, exciting sports events from around the globe. Tug’s background as a laminate floor salesman is neither relevant nor does it qualify him to describe athletic activities he doesn’t quite understand, particularly while intoxicated, which he most certainly is.

Realive’s Foreign Correspondent, the ineffable and unflappable Crestwood Monteclaire is an experienced world traveler who brings us detailed reports from his philandering around the globe and beyond. His age and ethnicity are both unconfirmed and many Realive staffers don’t believe he even exists. Only Duke has ever met with him in person. And it was only once, for a mere 19 minutes back in 1999. Where will Crestwood be next? We’re never quite sure and often doubtful that he is either.